Once you Vote Black, you Never go Back.

To our dearly devoted, extremely loyal and passionate readers - we are back. Please, both of you, calm down, for we have not perished.

When I say "we", I do of course mean myself. I cannot speak for my colleagues, because we have never met. We each live on separate corners of the Earth in very discreate locations so as to preserve our anonimity and safety. We each took a blood oath to live out the duration of our lives in secrecy in order to allow for this glorious site to blossom into the beautiful tree of life that it has now become.

Unfortunately, living in a Sherpa camp in Nepal each winter, I have trouble receiving a strong wi-fi connection, and was unable to carry my end of this once illustrious site. For that, I sincerely appologize. I cannot explain why it was left fully unnatended, nor shall I attempt to do so.

Please forgive us. I will spend much of the coming spring in Fallujah fighting the War on Terror, but am pleased to report that my iPhone does get service in the green zones, and will attempt to provide fresh material as often as possible. So, in the name of freedom, in the name of life, and in the name of God and America, I vow to keep Pretentious Nation alive. God Bless.