Maybe We Have to Wait Until She's Dead To Appreciate Her

If I say the phrases, "visionary artist," "awe-inspiring talent," or perhaps "perfectly created in God's image," only one person can come to mind: Ashlee Simpson (you know, Jessica's sister?). Ashlee has been blowing the minds of critics and fans alike with her musical experimentation ever since her sister became famous, and her new album titled "Me, Myself, and I'm Awesome" shows how she just continues to try new things and be herself.

"When I first started writing the new album, I was like, 'I really just want to express who I am with this and put myself out there.' I know the fans will respect that," Ashlee was recently quoted as saying. "I think I really put my heart into this one, and I'm really proud of it." We also managed to catch up with Ashlee's new producer, Rick Rogers. "Ashlee's new album? Oh yeah, I wrote all the songs on it. Most of them were jingles I had planned on using for a failed energy drink called SplatterFace, but once it was proved to cause impotence, the whole thing shutdown. At least I got some use out of the songs, though. The rest of the songs are really bad, but my friend triple-dog-dared me to put them on there, so I pretty much had to." Those of us who are not brilliant artists cannot understand the delicate songwriting process, but clearly Ashlee has a synergy with Rick.

Of course, Ashlee took a lot of heat in 2004 when she was caught lip-syncing one of her masterpieces. What most didn't realize was that she was really paying homage to her heroes. "I grew up on Milli Vanilli...they were music geniuses of the highest caliber. I just wanted to follow in their footsteps, but I guess people just didn't get me. That means I'm cool, right?"

She bounced back strong, and is doing better than ever. "Me, Myself, and I'm Awesome" is poised for a strong start. The cover features Ashlee dressed exactly like her sister in The Dukes of Hazzard. "I thought I could really separate myself from my sister by doing exactly what she does. Be sure to see Dukes of Hazzard 2: Trouble In Hazard-ise in theaters Summer 2008! I play Daisy Duke's twin sister, Daisy Jr. Hey reporter, come back here! Write down what I say!"

Well, there's a brief look into the genius that is Ashlee Simpson. Perhaps one day, elementary school students will learn about Ashlee's wonderous melodies alongside Beethoven's and Mozart's, but more likely she'll get pregnant and go fuckin' crazy on us.